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Tuesday 26 October 2010

Treaty

Pertaining to the events on the morning of November 26th in the year 2010 and the disappearance of Cedric.

It was weeks since the treaty was written and signed by both parties, the bigger inhabitant laid down specific rules for her tiny room-guest and he obeyed them diligently. Cedric was amiable in nature and as far as I could tell he did not have a like of trouble. He kept to himself mostly, only venturing out into the open to say the odd hello before scurrying back to whatever hidey-hole he had picked out. I saw him a few times daily. He wasn't a big talker, he much preferred to let me fill the silences with stories of my day and sometimes leant an ear to my complaints. We lived in harmony with neither insulting the other and neither breaking the treaty.

The treaty was as follows:
Any guest should feel welcome to stay any length of time s/he wishes so long as they respect the wishes of the present occupier. Guests should stay off of the floor and away from any of the occupier's extremities, guests should also stay away from the sleeping area of the occupier and not hang in mid-air as it is both dangerous and unnerving. Respect should always be given to the occupier and any other guests that may be present, as such no guest should mock, irritate or consume any other guest, no guest should bully or threaten any other guest and guests should always obey the occupier. Failure to comply with these requests will result in expulsion and exile, as decreed by the court of the occupier, fair trial will be given on most circumstances. However, should the occupier suspect any gross rule breakage and ill-intent she retains the right to exile without trial.
The weeks passed without event until the morning of November 26th 2010. Upon waking I went to the bathroom to have a shower, when I returned to my room I did not think to look up at the ceiling and so was not aware that I had two potentially new room guests. I discovered them when getting dressed - after pulling a t-shirt over my head I noticed a dark, blurred shape in front of my face and after some squinting (I was not wearing my glasses) I discovered, to my horror, that it was another room guest much larger than Cedric in breach of the treaty. I named it, for the purposes of simplicity, Not-Cedric 1. From that moment I knew that something wasn't right and scrambled for my glasses.

On the ceiling was the other potentially new guest, slightly smaller than the first, who I named Not-Cedric 2. As this was the first time I had seen them I presumed that they had not been informed of the treaty and so explained the terms, letting them off for the time being, and went back to my business for a few seconds. I lifted my eyes once more to the ceiling to find that Not-Cedric 2 had disappeared. I looked about the room, in each and every corner and couldn't find him anywhere. I knew he couldn't move very fast because he had been moving when I first spotted him. It was this search that lead me to discover that Cedric, himself, was also missing.

It was then that I approached Not-Cedric 1, who seemed to have a look about him that reeked evil. He ignored my every question and simply moved to and fro and danced mockingly on the ceiling. At one point he decided to practise his acrobatics, which were mediocre, I think. It was not until I was drying my hair, and keeping one keen eye on Not-Cedric 1, that a thought struck me: he had eaten Not-Cedric 2 when my back was turned and it wouldn't surprise me if they had both eaten Cedric while I showered. Not-Cedric 1 was certainly bigger than Cedric and certainly could have been quite the bully. But he did not scare me.

I endeavoured to give him a fair trial despite his complete and utter disregard for my wishes; the trial was long and he spent most of it ignoring me and moving through my room without, it seemed, a care in the world. The event that I now speak of was the final straw, the final note, the deciding factor in the trial, which lead to the trial being thrown aside for more extreme measures: he slowly began lowering himself towards my pillow. I tried to warn him, I tried to tell him not to but he did not listen. And that was how Not-Cedric 1 was exiled from my room.

I have no doubt that he will be back, trying once more to breathe a breath of anarchy into my room. His crimes should have condemned him to death but being the affable host that I am I do not believe in killing guests even if they do break my treaty. If/when he returns ... I will be ready for him.

Signed,
KeyChild.

1 comment:

  1. Haha. Your life will never cease to entertain me. Love it :D

    ReplyDelete